Monday, June 25, 2007

Tips for those inclined to abuse library privileges

- Create category options for selection. For example, if I were/ did categorize my check out selections, I would have the following categories: art books, picture books, grown-up chapter books, young adult chapter books, classic chapter books, short stories, books on tape, cd lectures, Masterpiece movies, learning movies, travel books, poetry books, children chapter books, Victorian novels, and newly released books I have never heard of.

- Narrow selection categories down to five. You can also create generalizations that encompass more then one category, such as "non-fiction," "novels," "multi-media," "audio," and "children's."

- Only check out one thing per category. Examples of things that might be on your library receipt are: The Plot Against America, Parts 1 and 2 of Horatio Hornblower, "Life and Works of Joseph Hayden," and Zeke Pippin. You cannot substitute that trashy looking novel with the pink cover as "non-fiction." That would be slipping down a dangerous slope that only leads to a tape recording of Charlotte's Web lost in your backseat.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Wanted Woman No More

I found a tape recording of Ella Enchanted under the passenger's side seat last week. This particular tape recording was mine, but not mine; I "bought" it from the library about two years ago. It had been missing for about 6 month prior to the purchase.

However, I could not, in good conscious, keep the tainted goods. I had to rid my bad library karma of this symbol of my failure to adhere to due dates. My last library rendezvous was Purchase Day and I missed my long standing dates with the stacks.

Courage in one hand, library card in the other, I returned Ella, distracted myself with the library book sale, watched Ella scan through the system, and requested a librarian to confirm that I was Fine Free. I was free to roam the stacks. Free to read through the children's books. Free to skim through the massive art books. And free to check out 50 books.

I limited myself to one - one book, one movie, and one book on tape. Some of which maybe under the driver's side seat.